Human Needs:
Safety
Unconditional Love
Affirmation
Purpose
Frost, Jack and Trisha,
Shiloh Place Ministries Orphan
Orphan – Biblical definition: “Comfortless one” Living as orphans or comfortless ones is living with unresolved unmet needs – either without a family or in the midst of a family system. This can be seen in our anxiety levels, and by the unhealthy roles we take on to try and be accepted, loved, and welcome in our own families. There are over 200,000 orphans in the world today
The effect of physical Orphanhood in children
Vulnerability to confusion, anxiety, depression, and behavioral/psychiatric disorders
Failure to thrive and actual physical growth stunted Johnson et al. , (2011)
Perceived lack of control leading to a feeling of helplessness
Ongoing inner longing and hope for love and sense of belonging
Pleasure connected to life, love, joy, and happiness is numbed Dr. Judith Arndell, Psy. D.
Lack of Identity
Identity
Where does identity come from?
In the World:
Occupation
Economic Status
Sexual Disease
Religion
Activity
Victim Physical
Family Role Past
Illness
Material Things
Just as children with absent genetic fathers have identity issues, (Terwogt et al. , 2002) so will we without the truth from our heavenly Father about who we are. In the Family of God: “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba Father” Romans 8:14-16
God: The Perfect Parent In Him, we are adopted and can have our needs met
John 14:15-18 “I will not leave you as orphans, but 14:15will send the Holy Spirit (The Comforter) to be with you and in you. ”
Hosea 14:3 “In you the orphan finds mercy
Psalm 68:5-6 “A father to the fatherless, a 68:5defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families”
Adoption
“Huiothesia” (Greek): “the place and condition of a son given to one to whom it does not naturally belong”; “ To place as sons”. Adoption Legal Permanent Change of name and identity Adoption in the Bible Mephibosheth: David brought him into his own family and treated him as a son 2 Sam 9:1-13
Esther: Adopted and raised by her uncle Esther 2:7 Moses: Adopted by Pharaoh’s Daughter in Egypt
Exodus 2 Adoption begins with Loss Matt. 10:39
“The person who tries to preserve his life will lose it, but the person who loses his life for me will preserve it. ” John 12:24
“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Luke 9:23-24 ”
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. ” But Offers New Life 2 Tim 2:11
I rely on this saying: “If we died with Him we shall also live with Him. ” Levels of adoptee’s acceptance View of adoption determines the outcome (Borders et al. , 2007)
No acknowledgment
Denial
No truth or healing
Acknowledgement with questions
Questioning
Missing something
Focus on Loss
Angry
Stuck in resentment
Aware of both Loss and Gain Processing
Moving Forward
Peace
Focus on Gain: New Life
Life
Orphan Son
Image of God
See God as Loving Father
Independent/Self-reliant
Dependency
Interdependent
Orphan Spirit
Live by Law
Theology
Live by Love
Insecure/ Lacks Peace Security
Rest and Peace Strives for Man’s acceptance
Need for Approval
Accepted in God’s love and grace
No Motivation or need to impress
The Motive for Service
Service motivated by gratitude and love
Self-rejection
Counterfeit affections: addiction, escapism
Competition
Distrustful
Self-Image
Source of Comfort
Relationships
View of Authority
Accusation and Exposure
View of Other’s Faults
Guarded and Conditional
Expression of Love
Conditional and Distant Bondage
Servant/Slave
Sense of God’s
Presence
Condition
Position
Positive and affirmed
Resting in the Father’s Love/ Holy Spirit
Humility and Unity Respectful;
Honoring Love
Covers
Open, patient, affectionate, selfless, kind
Close and Intimate
Spirit of Adoption
See God as Master
Liberty Son-ship
Recognition for something
Vision Receiving and Giving the Love of the Father
Fight or Give up Future
Hope
Frost, Jack and Trisha Shiloh Place Ministries Living as sons and daughters “Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir. ” Galatians 4:7
“He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will-” Romans 12:2
Helpful Steps to Living Loved to Allow time to Grieve/Be Real Psalm 62:8
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. View Adoption as Good (Borders, et al. , 2007) Ephesians 1:5
He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will… Renew our minds according to the Word Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind Recognize and Resource The Family of God Eph. 4:16
From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. Acknowledge God’s truth, and have grace for the process! Adopted into the Family Of God built up in Love” Both spirituality and surrounding relationships are orientating and motivating (Pargament, 2003)
Participation in Church and its relational support system is protective of physical and mental health (Pargament, 2003)
Forgiveness Grace Love Mercy “For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named … ” (ESV) Ephesians 3:14-15
“You also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. ” 1 Peter 2:5 (NIV)
References:
Passmore, Nola L. (2004) Adoption and the Father Heart of God: helping adoptees deal with Issues of identity and loss. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 23 (2). pp. 165-175. ISSN 0733-4273
Pargament, Kenneth, L. (2003). Advances in the Conceptualization and Measurement of Religion and Spirituality; Implications for physical and mental health research. American Psychological Association, 58 (1). 64–74. doi: 10. 1037/1941-1022. S. 1. 3.
Penny, J. , Borders, L. , & Portnoy, F. (2007). Reconstruction of Adoption Issues: Delineation of Five Phases Among Adult Adoptees. Journal Of Counseling & Development, 85(1), 30-41.
Frost, Jack and Trisha, Shiloh Place Ministries. www. shilohplace. org
Johnson, D. E. , & Gunnar, M. R. (2011). IV. Growth Failure in Institutionalized Children. Monographs Of The Society For Research In Child Development, 76(4), 92-126. doi:10. 1111/j. 1540-5834. 2011. 00629.
Mark Meerum Terwogt, Caroline J. Meerum Terwogt-Reijnders, Suus M. J. van Hekkenn (2002). Identity problems related to absent genetic father http://www. zeitschrift-fuer-familienforschung. de/pdf/2002-3-terwogt. pdf
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