Marriage & Family

A sexual script consists of expectations of how to behave sexually as a female or male and as a heterosexual, lesbian, or gay male. (Cohen, DeVault, & Strong 2008 p. 191) We use sexual scripts to direct us on how to organize, interpret and react to different sexual situations and emotions significantly. Our original sexual scripts starts as traditional, they are formed by what we learn from our parents, other adolescents or through watching television.
Our sexual identities form while learning to be sexual and this begins in our adolescence, progressively we will change our scripts as we continue to experience new situations. Depending on what we gained knowledge of and included into our sexual scripts our emotions will play through our learned interactions. Sexual behavior, what we consider as sexually normal, our social lives and gender roles all play a part in what makes our sexual scripts differ between males and females.
The traditional sexual script identifies the male as sexually aggressive and views sex as more of a recreational pastime, where they are focused more on pleasuring themselves. Cohen, DeVault and Strong 2008 p. 191 describes a few assumptions regarding the male script by Therapist Bernie Zilbergeld; men should not have certain feelings, a man always want sex and is always ready for it, performance is what counts, and a man is in charge, all physical contact leads to sex, sex equals intercourse, sex always leads to orgasm.

The traditional female scripts suggest that women focus on emotions more that sex. Assumptions were also made for women; sex is both good and bad, girls don’t want to know about their genitalia, sex is for men, men should know what women want, women should not talk about sex, women should look like beautiful models, women are nurturers, and there is only one right way to experience orgasm. In the society today sexual scripts are slightly altered because gender roles are slightly altered.
Traditional sexual scripts are now being replaced with contemporary sexual scripts, some of the assumptions that are made regarding both sexes are sexual expression is good, sexual activities may be initial by either partner, both parents have a right to experience orgasm, non marital sex is acceptable within a relationship context. Our sexual scripts are called into play when dealing with sexual activity and other social interactions. These scripts are used when viewing ourselves or others. I believe sexual scripts are used in everyday situations, in how we speak to one another or allow other to speak to us.
Sexual scripts can determine who we date or marry and how we interact with our significant others. I believe that an individual assume that everyone shares the same sexual script as themselves and in times we are shocked when we learn otherwise. We believe that we have the same beliefs and view the world through the same glasses. People assume that sexual scripts are simple such as boy like girl, girl likes boy, boy works, girls cleans, boy wants sex girl gives sex, while in the new generation most are following a modern style of living with a contemporary style of sexual scripts.